Blog is MOVING

this is my new blog:
http://raidetroit.wordpress.com/

sorry blogger.... get some better templates.
word press is WAY cooler.

http://raidetroit.wordpress.com/
http://raidetroit.wordpress.com/
http://raidetroit.wordpress.com/

28 Days Later

I feel the need to say what I've been up to lately.... as if there's more than just me hanging on a silk string...

I have been home now for exactly 28 days. In that time I have seen 5% of my friends, I have accustomed myself to a new exercise routine, I have have applied to three colleges, read one and a half novels, purchased a very inexpensive midi keyboard, and found myself a job as a waitress. On my off days I've been spending it at my Broski's, back to ye old stomping ground to watch the sun rise and set on the familiar side of the train tracks because I must, like a bug to a light, return to the path of least resistance. In 28 days.... arguably 25 years and 28 days..... I haven't shut off my brain, not once, and I as much as I feel like I'm forgetting some dire responsibility or neglecting a few fragile formalities, I am also forgetting that pushing too far too fast can have disintegrating effects.

Try as I might to try as I might, my priority list looks more like a fortuitous display of redundant blurbs and bloops; ordered by the weight of the word, consistency of the line, or thickness of the blop. Much like the pattern of a 'seeing-eye' design, one must loose focus in order see..... and the overall meaning is intended more like a rhythm moves something.... because sometimes there are things that happen within us that make our hearts heavy for reasons we do not understand.

I continue to ask myself: how much am I the mold? How much am I molding? I continue to toss my coins at the question of reason vs. randomnimity, and I am no closer to finding the answer to life, but am becoming increasingly intrigued with never figuring it out.

In a lot of ways I feel calmer, but there is a new element.... something like my internal clock has slipped forward three seconds faster then the natural flow of things.... so I always feel ahead of the times, yet standing still.

I'd like to clarify that although I did record an album in Scotland, the beginning hasn't even begun and months of planning and push are still required. Being there, doing that, was an experience I will never forget, composed of the good and the bad that changed me in ways I never planned. A chapter has closed in my life and directed me back to a previously unfinished body of work called 'furthered education'.

We are capable of many things, not limitless things, but many, and there are things in me that feel restless. I'm craving the smell of text books, the stress of deadlines, the seemingly insurmountable problems that dissipate like an afternoon rain cloud when an essay is completed or a test is through. I am adding supports to the structure and making sure I oil the hinges.... so to speak.

So, here I am, after 28 days feeling like I should have wrote this yesterday, but knowing that these words come right on time. Thank you. I feel much better and I look forward to next time..... unless zombies get me first.

-r.d.

As the World Falls Down

So I was on my run, and this came on the ipod. I've shared my love for this track with other David Bowie enthusiasts and they seem to think it's one of his worst moments, but these same enthusiasts knew nothing of his "Peter and the Wolf" narration, and thought very little of his "Little Drummer Boy" performance with Bing Crosby.

Just as a matter of interest: this is Bing performing "Just a Gigalo" and here is Bowie IN "Just a Gigalo"

Connecting the dots... la la la la... connecting the dots...

Fully and completely, I would like nothing more then to be at a masquerade with David Bowie crooning me.... as much as I would love him reading me a bedtime story... and having him over for a Christmas gathering... again... crooning me. So I suppose it's only natural, being female, that I like the bits of Bowie that I do. It's one of Bowie's amazing qualities that he is able to speak to, and appeal to such a diverse audience.

Bowie is ambiguous; David is a husband and father.

I admit it, I like his conservative side. I like thinking that someone as outlandish as Bowie can be so.... ordinary. I think he liked that bit too. I think he was a Old Romantic at heart... an old soul. Did I mention that I read "David Bowie: The Complete Narrative"? Well I did, and it was great. So yes, I know things.

Did I also mention I am obsessed with him? No?
Yeah... I wasn't aware of that either, but now that I think of it, I have never been so fascinated with anyone as much as Bowie. hmmmmm. It's weird though, because I'll forget about it, and then all the sudden... BOWIE. He comforts me.

For sure he will be in my dream tonight. Speaking of which... I can remember one in particular... holly hail marry... it was hoooooot. oi.

yeah. who knew?

-r.d

sentiments

Mesmerizing

...in Italian!!!!

Opening Sailormoon e il mistero dei sogni (italian)
Uploaded by Mokona-fan-Rayearth. - See the latest featured music videos.

You need it, you got it, I supply it if you forgot which.

I don't know why we save things

I suppose I always thought I would re-record these tracks, but... it's been four years now, and I've forgotten how to play most all of them. But these were the Royal Oak days, most of them.... so thanks Kirk for sending me my own songs:)

Four Track Round 1:
http://www.mediafire.com/?zimrmvxnzzh

Four Track Round 2:
http://www.mediafire.com/?2ew2gemt3nj

I guess I'm just in a mood. I'm dieing... my new self is coming together... I'll be reborn in two weeks. haha. So out with the old... and not to imply I'm tossing them like trash.... I'm just saying, OUT with them! P.S... if anyone has files that I don't know about, please let me know. Or if there's something I left out that you want me to look for I think I have lots on my hard drive back in MI. But after this... I'm moving on. OK? ok. .... talking to myself really... heh. ok? ok.

-r.d

Fun with Lighting.... half star for the song;)

Cheerful beginnings start with a good song

You may already have this track, but sifting through RCRD LBL new releases this morning... this is the best one I came across. Also, super excited to go see them in Aug at the Royal Oak Music Theater. I'm ready to be blown away.

Au Revoir Simone

Goodmorning!

The Never Ending Song

I can't afford to let the time pass
I can't afford to let the day last
I can't afford to even phone home

I can't afford to tell you much
I don't want you to buy me lunch, but
I can't afford to let you go

Well every storm that's some before this
I can show that I can adapt
Persistent in most everything I do
Yeah, I can see it through
Well, I can't prove that
But something's got me wound up
I'm bound up
I can't sleep right
Cuz every minute on my mind
If and when we'll find the time to be together
Sooner then never

Never say I'll never know everything about you
Can't afford to let you go
Can't afford not to
Do you right
Do you right

Well if I'm not supposed to say this stop me now
I won't feel right 'til all these details iron out
and if I'm just too far removed to see I'm in the wrong
Well, I sure am sorry for this song


Well every storm that's some before this
I can show that I can adapt
Persistent in most everything I do
Yeah, I can see it through
Well, I can't prove that
But something's got me wound up
I'm bound up
I can't sleep right
Cuz every minute on my mind
If and when we'll find the time to be together
Sooner then never

Small and Yellow

Increase, decrease
As far as I can tell, I am anomaly
I am honey bee
I am wanderer
I linger temporarily

I don't know who you are
This is the uncertain thing
So we mingle in the meadow
The scent of many flowers
Small and yellow

This is why we came here, is it not?
It was open and clear
Whispering, "honeydrips"
Softly say, "honeydrips"
Rolls from my forehead
Tickles my tongue
Honeydrips, honeydrips

Honey, sweet
Honey, slow
I want more
I want home

Was it an accident, a shift of the wind?
Honeydrips, honeydrips
I say it again
Given a smaller path
Would we pick up the same sweet scent?
Honeydrips, Honeydrips
So many flowers
So many friends
Narrow it down and begin again

Just how we remember it...

So funny. I've been talking about the High School days with a friend of mine, rehashing, and of all the memories... haha... my little punk days came with a wicked obsession to No Doubt. Still obsessed with Gwen of course... ha... but uh... it was pretty coincidental to see this post today. Just like we remember them, No Doubt performs again. Love it:)

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Rainbow Veins

One more regret I swear I'll
Be just a sailor cast out
Collecting treasures for the pleasure of an empty heart

Restless, the night it does fall
Stranger, you seem like you're all
All I wanted to have

I have devotion to you
A mixed emotion for you
I weigh the mornings
and pace the afternoon and

Restless, the night it does fall
Stranger, you seem like you're all
All I wanted to have

So lead me on
This could get complicated
You're every reason why I feel so elated and all

Restless, the night it does fall
Stranger, you seem like you're all
All I wanted to have

Oh rainbows through my veins
A lucky meeting down an unmarked alley way
A conscious limit to the words I want to say ohhhhh (x 2)

Just take me home
Or to a place I know well
We'll settle down with the love that we found
Just take me home
Or to a place I know well
You've got me under your spell

The English are Rubbish

Dedicated to.....

Song of the Day

Download and enjoy.

all my ears and eyes

Garaunteed Goodmorning... to be played after reading lower post.

Becuase life goes on and it is grand. Thank you for sending me this link Shane. Sharing feels like the best thing ever.

Modesty. Balance.
inward and outward, your movements must mean something.

Seclusion. Friends.
there is a time and a place; restrictions apply to both.

Conduct. Composure.
use it and don't loose it; I need to you show I'm strong.

Love and Ego.
perseverance is the difference between seduction and courtship.

Worries and Fears.
yes, but so what.

In a nut shell.... these are the things that are ALWAYS on my mind. Maintaining one's character is a day to day thing. I hope I'm doing well. I find myself loosing myself all too often. I like to blame in on the waxing and waning of the moon, but it is also, just me. Just us really.

On the subject of making new relations, I worry an extra a lot about the aforementioned things.
That's really all.
Because I'm worrying so much about them, I had to write this blog.

-r.d

There's a Dream

Little impromptu and a little... refined impromptu... just for entertainment value, and, well, this is how I entertain myself too:)

We Like the Music

I don't know how many of you would say the same of yourselves; I don't know if those close to me would agree, but when I say that things don't really work out with me, I just mean, in my subjective world I can hardly get a handle on handling... me. I do and I don't and I do, and I don't know. I think I'm just broken. Damaged goods. Beautifully flawed? haha

I'm trying to be objective, but I would much prefer Thomas following me around dictating whether I'm in subjective or objective territory. He's good like that. I get lost in the definitions. Don't be fooled by the smug face, the man is a bundle of logic. I mean, he's a lawyer and a musician. That's a person who has a handle on things. So... imaginary Thomas...

What would I be if I was getting to work on things that had nothing to do with my getting ahead in the world, but everything to do with just enjoying the moment; being a part? Wouldn't that be an objective action? I suppose I could still be subjective in my objective action... but... whatever... THE POINT IS.... uh... all in the pencil?! No no no, the point is this:

Daniel Zott, an amazing talent with a solo project and a band, The Great Fiction (who are also super excellent), contacted me for some vocal funness. They are working on doing some Motown covers for the 50th anniversary of Motown's opening. They needed a woman to sing, and they thought of me:) HOW delightful.

In the next couple of months it will come together. They plan on recording them maybe for a tribute album of sorts. Daniel says, "we all are deeply rooted in the Motown stuff, and it's our biggest influence. We are officially nerds."
Well Daniel, I don't think that makes you a nerd, but if so, I can't wait to be nerdy too:) They're also talking about playing them live, and if so, me joining them on stage is a strong possibility.

There is definite fun to be had in the D. We'll see how long I can manage in the mitten. We'll see just how objective I can be about staying put.

fluv
r.d

MOONBEAMS

Journalization

I do realize I have to get back to posting about music at some point, but there isn't much to tell at the moment.... or maybe not much to me...

One has to allow themselves the proper amount of recreation to build up the energy needed to create. It expends a lot of internal resources. I've been in Aberdeen 4 months now. We started off strong and nearly killed each other.... literally... figuratively... I can't tell anymore.
These past two months we've been taking it easier. Health and moral were deteriorating too rapidly. SO I suppose the days of leisure have increased... building up for the next musical outburst... but leisure is hardly what I feel. I spend the day trying in vain to quiet my brain to hear what the tiny voice of reason says. I go searching for feeling not knowing where to begin. I spend hours writing in my notebook and cramp up my hand. I don't know how I've so many thoughts in my head and not a one seems worth the ink that spills from my pen.

I'm reading through all my journal pages searching for something to share and it looks more like a grocery list of wants and despair.... and then an actual itemization of groceries to emphasize the bare cupboards.... the hungry stomach...

and I can sum it ALL up by this one passage:

"When days go on like this, it is hard to imagine how I will occupy myself for another month and a half. When that month and a half is through, I will wonder where all the time went."

I keep telling myself to enjoy these moments. Even at their worst, they won't ever come again, and I just keep telling myself this, hoping it will stick. I'm reminded of my mantra when I'm much too drunk and have the spins, I say, "If I just keep talking to myself then I'm not going to puke, so I just keep talking to myself, cuz if I just keep talking to myself then I'm not going to puke..." and I repeat this over and over and...

I get through it. I live on past it. I forget how hard it was in the middle.

-r.d

Simple Truths

I enjoy this poem....

'Maggy and Milly and Molly and May'

Maggy and Milly and Molly and May
went down to the beach(to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles,and

Milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;

and Molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

May came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
its always ourselves we find in the sea

E. E. Cummings

you asked for it....

not the song.. no... for my tiny talents on web cam. tried to write you a new song, but eh.... I got impatient and just played you this one:)

Just don't be so "wordy"

Words that triggered my deviation from proper rules of language:

*Justification
*Poetic License
*Relevance
*Rite of Passage

With these words, I am justified within relevance to me and my poetic license. Call it my rite of passage; I pass from sense to nothing of the sort.

I'm feeling wordy. I'm in one of those moods that usually precede a writing binge. Thought I'd play with my brain a bit. Feel like I haven't done that in a while, but in light of all the books I've been reading... and a friend I spoke to about the writing process... well, I'm inspired all over again. How silly of me to forget that the MOST fun part about writing is HOW you choose to use the English language. I do believe I totally abuse poetic license. I am an excellent nonlinear, circle talker. heh. heh.... and yes... sometimes I think myself too clever, but it is one of my few pleasures that has yet to be influenced by criticism. Though, if it were, I couldn't imagine it mattering much, nor would it deter me from writing any less, less I proclaimed it my profession. Then, like my music, I would cry, and sulk, and take two years off because I felt inadequate.....

AAAAAANYWAY.... water under the bridge... water under the bridge, besides, I only have myself to blame.... and that's all the fuel I need to start writing... or continue... at any rate... I leave you now...